You may have heard of this line before,
“I no longer know you…”
It may have been uttered unknowingly by your partner in a fit of anger. A mother to a son, in a moment of exasperated disappointment. A great friend to another, in a moment of folly. Or even dramatically perhaps, you, saying it to yourself when you looked in the mirror early this morning.
The truth is, there will be moments, when we just seem to grapple with our sense of identity, sometimes in our lives. Don’t you think so?
I think it took me quite a while in my early adulthood to finally feel settled with the person I was becoming. In that moments of self discovery, I went on a crazy roller coaster ride of grappling with confidence and conviction in my daily interactions with Life. Eventually, I found that I was pretty much responsible for who I was turning out to be, and decided to take a proactive approach in ensuring that I developed into something I would like. So what were the 3 reasons that ultimately shaped who I am today?
Reason #1 : The Books That I Read
Nothing will define you more than the types of books you read. As cliched as it may sound, the definitive book that got me started on that upward trend was this ragged and torn small book, I borrowed in the local library. Its title? “Think & Grow Rich” by Napolean Hill. This was way back in 1998. Since then, books have been as crucial to my growth, as oxygen is to breathing.
Reason #2 : The People I Loved (…and still do, of course)
Unrequited love may seem like a bad thing to some. Well, for me, it turned out that having moments of unrequited love episodes, were crucial. In that endless desire to always prove that I was worthy of attention and affection, I became a better version of myself almost every time.
Unrequited love is, but just, one half of the equation. How about those people that you love, and who loves you in return? Turns out, they were equally influential in making me be the person I am today. All those times, when they provided unconditional support and encouragement, kept me going though out the many challenges I faced. Their constant reminders, that I need not be anybody else, but myself, was one of the reasons, I felt comfortable enough to head on in life.
Reason #3 : The Perspectives I Had
I am and has always been, the “glass is always overflowing” type of guy. I am too optimistic. An idealist by nature. If that shaped the person I am today, then it cannot be a bad thing, can it?
From my younger days, I had often times been described as the “silent guy who radiates good energy” in a social dynamic. Pleasant was the operative word here. I guess, it all boiled down to the fact that I loved to have a range of perspectives,with regards to anything worthy of thought. I held that simple practice to heart. I never had a too strict a conviction and too free a thought. I kept my perspectives open, most of the times. This allowed me the luxury of always having a balanced opinion on most things.
Perspectives played an integral role. Cause most of the times, perspectives will be the starting point for any self identity you radiate. If your perspectives on life and its components are healthy, you can rest assure that you have almost figured out life in general.
In summary, I think these three reasons/factors very much shaped me. Holistically, thankfully.
You may have other factors, you may have considered about yourself. The take away, however, is that whether we like it or not, there may be external factors that may have eventually shaped who we are turning out to be. If so, watch out for those areas you may wanna pay more attention to, in the future.